{"id":275,"date":"2024-12-30T11:44:49","date_gmt":"2024-12-30T11:44:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/?p=275"},"modified":"2024-12-31T09:39:42","modified_gmt":"2024-12-31T09:39:42","slug":"gecen-yillar-olsun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/30\/gecen-yillar-olsun\/","title":{"rendered":"Ge\u00e7en Y\u0131llar Olsun"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Al\u0131\u015famad\u0131m; pahal\u0131 e\u015fya kullanamam. Ayakkab\u0131 boyatmaktan da ho\u015flanmad\u0131m hi\u00e7. Nedir \u00f6yle, lord gibi; bir aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fck\u00fcp sand\u0131\u011fa koyars\u0131n, \u00f6tekinde ha\u015fmet; ellerin de belinde olsa tam Hamlet! Krallar\u0131 sevmem zaten, u\u015faklar\u0131 olur; bizlerin dostlar\u0131 var. Hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m birinin, ekmek i\u00e7in kar\u015f\u0131mda e\u011filmesi g\u00fcc\u00fcme gider. Belki bundand\u0131r, kahveleri mesken tutmu\u015f boyac\u0131lar i\u015fe giri\u015fmeden \u00f6nce ayakkab\u0131y\u0131 al\u0131p terlik verir; giyip beklersin. Gidecek kahvem yok hanidir. Oysa h\u00e2l\u00e2 tenha Bo\u011faz semtlerinde, sokak aralar\u0131nda g\u00f6z k\u0131rparlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"744\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/soguk1.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-276\" style=\"width:309px;height:426px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/soguk1.jpeg 744w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/soguk1-218x300.jpeg 218w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 744px) 100vw, 744px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00c7ok eskiden bayram sabahlar\u0131, cami \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131, babamla Karak\u00f6y\u2019deki ta\u015f f\u0131r\u0131ndan b\u00f6rek al\u0131r, \u00e7ay i\u00e7mek i\u00e7in Ferik\u00f6y\u2019e, mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yak\u0131n\u0131ndaki kahveye giderdik; babam\u0131, o mezarl\u0131\u011fa b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan beri gitmedim, kahve de y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131 zaten. Camiyle, kiliseyle, havrayla da ili\u015fik keseli y\u0131llar var. Gezmek, sesleri duymak i\u00e7in arada belki, o kadar. Okuma evi anlam\u0131na gelen k\u0131raathane zamanla kahve olmu\u015f dilimizde. Kahve bug\u00fcn kitapla ili\u015fkilendirilse de kimse pek bir \u015fey okumuyor k\u0131raathanelerde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Al\u0131\u015famad\u0131m. Yak\u0131n\u0131mda k\u00fcrk giyen varsa hemen ka\u00e7ar\u0131m; pahal\u0131 saat takmak ya da nice insan\u0131n alt\u0131 ayda kazanabildi\u011fi paraya sat\u0131lan telefonlar beni utand\u0131r\u0131r. Lokantada rahat otururken do\u011frulurum garson gelince. Sinemada sonu h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fcyse filmin saklan\u0131r\u0131m, g\u00f6stermem g\u00f6zlerimi. Herhangi bir kuyru\u011fa biri kaynak yapacaksa sessiz kalmak gelmez elimden. Al\u0131\u015fveri\u015fte para \u00fcst\u00fc saymak zor gelir; kar\u015f\u0131mdakine sahtek\u00e2r muamelesi yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcm. Oysa hep say\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r benim verdi\u011fim para \u00fcstleri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"920\" height=\"500\" src=\"http:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/kis.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-277\" srcset=\"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/kis.jpeg 920w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/kis-300x163.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/kis-768x417.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 920px) 100vw, 920px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Eskiden sevdi\u011fimde, sevilmeyi de beklerdim. Ya\u015f ald\u0131k, zaman akt\u0131, \u015fimdi sevmek yetiyor. Bir dergide \u015fiirimin yay\u0131mlanmas\u0131 heyecanl\u0131yd\u0131, yazmak da yetebiliyor art\u0131k, yazmasam da oluyor \u00e7o\u011fu zaman art\u0131k; edebiyata kimsenin bunca ihtiya\u00e7 duymad\u0131\u011f\u0131, edebiyat\u0131n ihtiya\u00e7 olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu ortamda \u00f6nemli mi hem! Sakal b\u0131rakmak isterdim, vazge\u00e7tim; \u00e7ok \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca y\u00fcz\u00fcme bat\u0131yor. Televizyon izlemeyi severdim, hatta babam renkli televizyon ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda heyecanlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, ka\u00e7 y\u0131l var y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakm\u0131yorum. Sessiz sedas\u0131z gecelerde yelkene dolan r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131 \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum. Yaz geceleri denizi. Mehtab\u0131n g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015ften \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fini, su i\u00e7en kar\u0131ncalar\u0131, kedilerden \u00e7ok k\u00f6pekleri, gemilerde uyanmay\u0131, tendeki tuzu, kekik kokusunu, kitapl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131\u2026 Sonra yan\u0131mda olsa da k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131, sevgilimi \u00f6zl\u00fcyorum hep. \u00d6zlemim sanad\u0131r, diyordu Edip Cansever, vars\u0131n ya\u011fs\u0131n, daha ya\u011fs\u0131n, diyordu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"348\" height=\"500\" src=\"http:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/barbara.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-278\" style=\"width:266px;height:382px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/barbara.jpg 348w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/barbara-209x300.jpg 209w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 348px) 100vw, 348px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Bir ya\u015fam acemisiyim. B\u00f6yle tan\u0131ml\u0131yorum benim gibileri: Ya\u015fam acemisi. Acemili\u011fimiz, \u00e7ocukluktan besleniyor. Hat\u0131rla Barbara Ya\u011fmur Ya\u011f\u0131yordu\u2019nun ba\u015f\u0131nda, Martialis\u2019ten al\u0131nt\u0131lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m c\u00fcmle: <strong>\u201cD\u00fcr\u00fcst bir insan, her zaman acemidir.\u201d <\/strong>S\u00f6ylenmeyenler, \u015fik\u00e2yet etmeyenler, hayat\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne y\u00fcr\u00fcyenler diyorum bize; kimi gazeteleri okuduktan sonra ellerini y\u0131kayanlar, s\u00f6zde vicdanl\u0131lar\u0131n vicdans\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fler, ba\u015fkalar\u0131 ad\u0131na utananlar\u2026 Anlamadan konu\u015fmak yerine konu\u015fmadan anlamay\u0131 deneyenler. Gelgelelim i\u00e7erde, derin yerde bilirim ne kesikler var. Anlar\u0131m g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015flerimiz neyi gizler. Zaten biz ya\u015fam acemileri, neyi varsa derinde saklar; \u015fark\u0131y\u0131, \u015fiiri sever; bir romanda \u015fehir ad\u0131, bir \u015fark\u0131, isim g\u00f6r\u00fcnce d\u00fc\u015fer pe\u015fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unutmamak i\u00e7in an\u0131lar\u0131 kay\u0131t d\u00fc\u015feriz g\u00fczellikleri. \u0130spanyolca recordar hat\u0131rlamak, Latincesi recordis, kalbi delip ge\u00e7mek. O an\u0131lar\u0131n birinde, daha \u00f6nce de yazd\u0131m, yine yaz\u0131yorum, Ahmet Erhan var. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2003\u2019e giriyorduk, yirmi iki y\u0131l olmu\u015f, y\u0131lba\u015f\u0131yd\u0131, mesaj g\u00f6ndermi\u015fti: <strong>\u201cGe\u00e7en, y\u0131llar olsun\u201d <\/strong>yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131; dostluklar, arkada\u015fl\u0131klar, sevgiler ge\u00e7mesindi esas, y\u0131llar neydi ki diyesiydi. \u015eairler \u00f6yledir; demez, demeye getirirler. Erhan\u2019\u0131n, Taksim\u2019deki evinin balkonunda \u00e7ektirdi\u011fi foto\u011fraf\u0131 an\u0131ms\u0131yorum, ne g\u00fczel g\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Dostlar\u0131m\u0131n foto\u011fraflar\u0131n\u0131 unutmam, dostlar\u0131m\u0131. Onlardan biri, \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fim ye\u015fil h\u0131rkam\u0131 \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00e7 al\u0131p vermemi\u015fti bir daha. \u0130stemedim. Di\u011feri Attil\u00e2 \u0130lhan imzal\u0131 kitab\u0131m\u0131 geri getirece\u011fim diye alarak \u00e7ekip gitti. Gitme haklar\u0131 yoksa, dostumuz olamazlard\u0131 de\u011fil mi? Sonra zaman, o eski \u015fiirdeki, bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r ve bir su gibi ak\u0131p ge\u00e7ti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" src=\"http:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/ahmet.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-279\" style=\"width:500px;height:500px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/ahmet.jpeg 500w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/ahmet-300x300.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/ahmet-150x150.jpeg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Sevgiden alacakl\u0131y\u0131m y\u0131llard\u0131r. Ya\u015fam acemilerinden se\u00e7iyorum yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc biziz hayat\u0131 g\u00fczel k\u0131lan. Biliriz, \u00e7orbac\u0131larda kasan\u0131n yan\u0131nda duran karanfiller var, \u00fct\u00fclenmi\u015f ceket cebinden hi\u00e7 hesapta yokken \u00e7\u0131kan destan\u0131 yirmi liralar\u0131n, caddede y\u00fcr\u00fcrken beklenmedik anda hayat\u0131m\u0131za giren g\u00fczelim \u015fark\u0131lar, posta kutusunda faturalar\u0131n aras\u0131nda boy veren asker mektuplar\u0131, otob\u00fcste sevdi\u011fimiz yazar\u0131 okuyan yolcular var\u2026 Biliriz, hayat\u0131 g\u00fczel edenler var\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sevgili okur. Ben her y\u0131l bu yaz\u0131y\u0131, yeniden yazar\u0131m biliyor musun? Buralarda olursak yine 2025 sonunda da g\u00f6receksin\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u0130\u015fte bir y\u0131l daha ge\u00e7iyor \u00f6m\u00fcrden. O t\u00fcrk\u00fcy\u00fc bilirsin: \u201c\u015eu da\u011flar k\u00f6m\u00fcrdendir \/ Ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn \u00f6m\u00fcrdendir\u2026\u201d G\u00fczelliklere, iyiliklere sebep oldum mu 2024\u2019te, \u00e7ok kavga ettim mi, rahat m\u0131 vicdan\u0131m, sevdim mi yeterince, huzurlu muydum, \u00fc\u00e7 be\u015f ki\u015fi okuyan oldu mu bin emekle yazd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131? Okul kantinlerinde, sanayi sitelerinde konu\u015fuldu mu sat\u0131rlar\u0131m? Bilmem. Hi\u00e7 bilmez ki yazarlar. Bilmedikleri, tan\u0131mad\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in yazarlar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"998\" src=\"http:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/kart.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-324\" style=\"width:357px;height:505px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/kart.jpg 640w, https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/kart-192x300.jpg 192w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeni y\u0131l i\u015fte. Plan yapmaktan vazge\u00e7medim yine, erken uyanmaktan, kitap oburlu\u011fundan, s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131nca \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131lara atmaktan kendimi vazge\u00e7medim, reng\u00e2renk, tela\u015fl\u0131 sevmekten\u2026 Romain Gary\u2019nin Onca Yoksulluk Varken\u2019i \u201csevmek gerek\u201d diye biter, ne yapabilirim. Sevmek dedik, o halde \u0130nci Dakikalar\u0131 ile yeni y\u0131la Sezai Karako\u00e7 buyursun gelsin: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSen bana yeni y\u0131ls\u0131n her dakika \/ Her dakika bir ya\u015f\u0131ma daha giriyorum.\u201d<br><br>Ge\u00e7en, y\u0131llar olsun dostlar, diyorum; b\u00f6yle diyorum.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Al\u0131\u015famad\u0131m; pahal\u0131 e\u015fya kullanamam. Ayakkab\u0131 boyatmaktan da ho\u015flanmad\u0131m hi\u00e7. Nedir \u00f6yle, lord gibi; bir aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fck\u00fcp sand\u0131\u011fa koyars\u0131n, \u00f6tekinde ha\u015fmet; ellerin de belinde olsa tam [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2929,"featured_media":324,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[56,52,97,47,98,99,96,90,95,94,91,86,92,87],"class_list":["post-275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bazi-seyler","tag-ahmet-erhan","tag-attila-ilhan","tag-bogaz","tag-edip-cansever","tag-ferikoy","tag-gecen-yillar-olsun","tag-hatirla-barbara-yagmur-yagiyordu","tag-kose-yazisi","tag-martialis","tag-recordar","tag-romain-gary","tag-sezai-karakoc","tag-turku","tag-yilbasi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2929"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=275"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":325,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/275\/revisions\/325"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onurcaymaz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}